The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher
I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade classroom a few years back.
When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness andusually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.
Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater. She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.
''First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dadput a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord. 'She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh,Oh, Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)
'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like 'psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming water flowing away. It was too much!)
'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe. They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be alot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him for crawling up in there.
'Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat. I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, when it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another ' MiddleWife' comes along.
Sunday, May 10, 2009
Saturday, May 9, 2009
Births, Fainting, and Episiotomies
Hi All,
My second woman went into labour late last night (around 11:45). I was called at 12:15 this morning by the Midwife, who said that if I wanted to make it I would have to really hurry! Was totally exhausted, but jumped out of bed and threw on my cool new polo and drove off.
When I got to Calvary, she was in transition and went into 2nd stage very soon after. She was lying semi-recumbent (that was the word the midwife said to use--I was calling it "on her back" at first--but semi-recumbent sounds much more sophisticated!). The midwife asked her if she wanted to change positions, but she very decidedly said "NO!!!!", so the midwife looked for ways to make it more comfortable in the bed for her. But the midwife didn't need to do much, as the woman was instinctively doing most of the right things anyway. She was pelvic tilting, rolling her pelvis around, rolling slightly from side to side (hardly ever was actually on her side, but was moving all the time). But she was flaying her arms around, and grabbing our arms or shirts in the midst of contractions or pushing. So the midwife got her to hold underneath her thighs and push into her thighs, and that helped a lot. (Both us and her) : )
I was so carried away with the fact that it was going to happen so soon (and that I could actually see EVERYTHING that was going on this time) that I didn't think to sit down or move from the one spot. All of a sudden I felt really hot, light headed and nauseous. I fought it off for as long as I could, but then I just couldn't stand up anymore, I HAD to sit down! I sat on the nearest chair, and the midwife looked highly amused and suggested I go out and get a drink of water. I went out, passed the other midwives at the desk (who stared at my total lack of colour), slumped down against a wall and drank as fast as I could. So the heading is kind of deceiving because I never actually fainted, but I felt SO close to it, and it was not nice!
I didn't want to look like a scared chicken or really green, so I went back into the room as soon as I could and started helping again, but found that I had to sit down every couple of minutes; pretty much in between every push.
The woman did not progress normally, and the midwife was worried that perhaps the baby was posterior, so conducted a vaginal examination. The baby was not exactly posterior but lateral and kind of leaning a little on the posterior side (I think), but definitely coming down a little. So we waited, and the woman pushed, and we waited, and she pushed. Eventually we could see some small part of the head, but then it didn't keep progressing. Then about 15-30 mins baby's head definitely coming, but still only a little, the woman began to tear rather badly, so the midwife made the executive decision to do an episiotomy. Baby's face came through and the head had been transverse which is why she was tearing so badly. The midwife allowed me to put my hands over hers, so that I could experience what she was doing, then she had to really wiggle the baby out and I picked baby up and put baby on the woman's chest. That was lovely !!! I also was able to rub baby down a little, and had to keep baby from sliding off its mother as she was a little out of it all.
I was able to watch closely the registrar suturing the (I think 3rd degree incision), which was pretty cool, but a little gross, especially since the woman kept experiencing pain (not from the needle but from the cleaning out of the vagina of blood, so the registrar could see properly).
Baby didn't want to breathe at one stage as he was a little clogged with fluid, but after the midwife rubbed his back vigorously and tilted him forwards, he spewed it all up and became pink again.
I got to measure, weigh, and do all the vital signs on him, so that was cool. I also dressed, wrapped and rocked him to sleep, while his mother was showering. I feel very blessed : )
And tired...
My second woman went into labour late last night (around 11:45). I was called at 12:15 this morning by the Midwife, who said that if I wanted to make it I would have to really hurry! Was totally exhausted, but jumped out of bed and threw on my cool new polo and drove off.
When I got to Calvary, she was in transition and went into 2nd stage very soon after. She was lying semi-recumbent (that was the word the midwife said to use--I was calling it "on her back" at first--but semi-recumbent sounds much more sophisticated!). The midwife asked her if she wanted to change positions, but she very decidedly said "NO!!!!", so the midwife looked for ways to make it more comfortable in the bed for her. But the midwife didn't need to do much, as the woman was instinctively doing most of the right things anyway. She was pelvic tilting, rolling her pelvis around, rolling slightly from side to side (hardly ever was actually on her side, but was moving all the time). But she was flaying her arms around, and grabbing our arms or shirts in the midst of contractions or pushing. So the midwife got her to hold underneath her thighs and push into her thighs, and that helped a lot. (Both us and her) : )
I was so carried away with the fact that it was going to happen so soon (and that I could actually see EVERYTHING that was going on this time) that I didn't think to sit down or move from the one spot. All of a sudden I felt really hot, light headed and nauseous. I fought it off for as long as I could, but then I just couldn't stand up anymore, I HAD to sit down! I sat on the nearest chair, and the midwife looked highly amused and suggested I go out and get a drink of water. I went out, passed the other midwives at the desk (who stared at my total lack of colour), slumped down against a wall and drank as fast as I could. So the heading is kind of deceiving because I never actually fainted, but I felt SO close to it, and it was not nice!
I didn't want to look like a scared chicken or really green, so I went back into the room as soon as I could and started helping again, but found that I had to sit down every couple of minutes; pretty much in between every push.
The woman did not progress normally, and the midwife was worried that perhaps the baby was posterior, so conducted a vaginal examination. The baby was not exactly posterior but lateral and kind of leaning a little on the posterior side (I think), but definitely coming down a little. So we waited, and the woman pushed, and we waited, and she pushed. Eventually we could see some small part of the head, but then it didn't keep progressing. Then about 15-30 mins baby's head definitely coming, but still only a little, the woman began to tear rather badly, so the midwife made the executive decision to do an episiotomy. Baby's face came through and the head had been transverse which is why she was tearing so badly. The midwife allowed me to put my hands over hers, so that I could experience what she was doing, then she had to really wiggle the baby out and I picked baby up and put baby on the woman's chest. That was lovely !!! I also was able to rub baby down a little, and had to keep baby from sliding off its mother as she was a little out of it all.
I was able to watch closely the registrar suturing the (I think 3rd degree incision), which was pretty cool, but a little gross, especially since the woman kept experiencing pain (not from the needle but from the cleaning out of the vagina of blood, so the registrar could see properly).
Baby didn't want to breathe at one stage as he was a little clogged with fluid, but after the midwife rubbed his back vigorously and tilted him forwards, he spewed it all up and became pink again.
I got to measure, weigh, and do all the vital signs on him, so that was cool. I also dressed, wrapped and rocked him to sleep, while his mother was showering. I feel very blessed : )
And tired...
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